Disclaimer: This post is racy and might offend some people. If frank talk about sex or politics upsets you, please come back tomorrow and use this time to go read Martha Stewart Living instead. Thanks. — The Management
Used to be I would only ever date progressives. I was hardline about it. Any guy so much as a centimeter right of center was instantly out of the running for my affections — and then I met the cowboy. The man turned my world upside down in many ways, but in private ways most of all.
What, I wondered as I caught my breath, had I been missing out on all these years?
I wondered, secretly of course, whether the cowboy’s conservative/traditionalist politics had anything to do with…well, the other stuff — because, frankly, most of the leftist types I’d, you know, done that with, were just plain awful at it. It’s like the liberal guys felt obligated to be “sensitive” and woman-like, and were bitter and angry at their cultural emasculation on top of that, meaning the whole thing was just…squishy and awful and ick.
I started to think that maybe guys who held more traditional views of men and women might somehow transfer that appreciation of our differences to the bedroom, with earth-shaking results. Man, was I right.
Now, lo and behold, a study has emerged that confirms what I suspected: Conservatives are better in bed, and have more and better orgasms, according to a survey of 6000 singles by match.com. I find this fascinating, even though I’m sure lots of people are going to read this and take offense for one reason or another.
I, for one, am glad I got over my fear of conservative men, though. These days, I go around advising all my single liberal girlfriends to be open to conservative guys, as I’m all but convinced they are better lovers than liberal dudes. Conservative men, I’ve come to think, really like the fact that we’re women; liberal men, meanwhile, feel like THEY have to be women, too.
Okay, go ahead. Attack me. I’m ready.