What the perfect first date should like like, imho.
A thought occurred to me whilst vacuuming the house today. Don’t ask me why I get most of my deep thinking done while cleaning. Something meditative about it, I guess.
Here’s what I’ve decided.
People have it all backwards. We shouldn’t all be on our best behavior on the first date. We should, all of us, strive to be on our absolutely worst behavior on our first date or two, in the spirit of fiscal and emotional frugality. After all, it’s not the best behavior that will split us up down the road.
It’s the worst. And we all have a right to know, as soon as possible, just what we’re in for. Then we can decide if it’s something we can handle or not.
Imagine, if the woman you’ve taken a fancy to says something to offend you on your first date, and you’re the kind of guy who, nine or ten months down the road, would react to that exact same move on her part by, say, throwing a vase at her head or telling her she’s a stupid cow, just do it now. On the first date. Don’t hold back. Conversely, if you’re the kind of girl who would react to your man checking out another woman in the restaurant by slapping him then and there once you’re actually committed, don’t hesitate to do it on the first date. Smack ‘im, yell at him, go crazy, girlfriend.
It’s called truth in advertising, people!
We’re in a recession. We can’t afford to go on lots of dates before realizing our partner is a jackass. If you’re a jackass, let it show early and bright. I say we let it all hang out right away, and save everyone a lot of time, emotional investment and expense.
Plus, this way, if someone sticks with you even after you’ve had a meltdown to rival a person possessed, it can only get better and better from there.
Who’s with me?
Tagged: best behavior, first dates, worst behavior
I like it! Show the crazy up front….it seems to work out well in the movies.
Sign me up!
Having entered the dating scene later in life than most, and being an almost neurotically analytical person (I was the kid who took apart his toys to see what made them work), I made the same observation, only after several experiences with the dating equivalent of the saying “Caveat Emptor”.
I think that the first few dates are like watching a commercial. They want you to see all the best parts and most attractive aspects of them, strategically witholding the side effects, such as “May cause sleeplessness, spontaneously draining bank account, migraines, and you may want to invest in a good helmet”.
When people aren’t “Real” from the start, we develop an idealized image of them. We fall in love with someone who really doesn’t exist, and I believe that the fault lies with both people. It was their fault for laying a candy-coating on who they REALLY are, and it was my fault for falling for it way too many times. When the time came to get to know the REAL person, every tantrum, burp, fart, snore, and missing CD chipped away at that idealized image, until the I became so irritated by the person, it was impossible to get to know them any further. That wasn’t fair to them or to me.
I like the way you think, Alisa!
I guess that’s why mine became a cowboy. Right from the start it was always “this is what I am and this is what you get”. If I hadn’t liked it, I’d have run from the beginning.
I LOVE it! I’m already past the first date stage with my cowboy, but the idea makes me laugh. If I ever had to do the first date thing again, I’ll just be petulant and procrastinatory right out of the gate, some of my worst qualities!
For what it’s worth, I’ll give you my two cents worth of nothing!!! I simply think it is best to be yourself…..and it is as simple as that! We all have our chinks in the armor, flaws and warts! I don’t know about the idea that we should be at our worse for the first couple of dates, We all possess ample amounts of the good, the bad, and the downright ugly! Perhaps using a little bit of widsom, to slow down and take it easy, and watch, listen and observe, taking time to filter through if what you are seeing is too good to be true, because then it usually is! On that first date or two…..watch how they treat other people with open eyes. How to they treat the waiter? How do they look at someone poorly dressed? BIG ONE HERE….how do they talk about their EX? Pay special attention to that last one incase you find yourself in that category! Darn it, just be yourself, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying to aspire to be the best version of yourself, because that is something we should all be trying to do all the time. Just don’t be phony about it! Now, for that two cents worth of nothing I was going to give you, I think I owe you all a penny back!!!! Peaceful Blessings! Nanny
That’s great advice, about how they talk about their ex!!!