Men. I feel sorry for them sometimes. Like now.
I just read a couple of studies that show how clueless men are about whether women are into them or not. Unsurprisingly, men almost always think we’re into them. The more attractive they find a woman, the more they think she likes them, no matter what she does. College-age guys are particularly clueless when it comes to confusing casual politeness with sexual interest.
This is astounding to me. Probably because I’m female. With women, the opposite appears to be true. Women underestimate men’s interest in them, while guys tend to think everyone wants them. This, sadly, makes me start to hum this song. Which makes me want to wash my ears out with acid.
Apparently, it doesn’t take much to convince a guy that you’re hot for him, even if you’re not. A polite smile. A returned “good morning”. That’s about it. Blow your nose on the bus, and he’s pretty sure you want to have his baby.
Researchers suggest men evolved to be unrealistically confident and hopeful, sexually, because it was to their advantage biologically to do so. The cowboy often counsels me to err on the side of caution, saying, “What’s the risk if I’m wrong this way, versus what’s the risk if I’m wrong the other way.” It’s kind of like that. Evolution favored dumbly optimistic males because the more women you approach, the better shot you have of finding one who’ll actually mate with you than you might have if you were insecure and shy.
So, there it is ladies. Have a great weekend. Be careful who you smile at – oh, heck. It probably doesn’t matter if you smile or not. Just being in the same restaurant or grocery store as a guy and, like, breathing will probably be enough to convince him you want him.